Take Time to Reflect: 9 Ways to Build Self-Awareness and Become a Stronger Leader

​In a recent Harvard Business Review article, Michael Schrage says, “Serious leaders understand that, both by design and default, they’re always leading by example.”
 
Whether you’re a parent, teacher, coach or business manager, it seems to be a self-evident, yet daunting, leadership truth. We’re leading by example even when we’re not consciously aware of it.
 
Self-awareness is key to good leadership. On the other hand, being unaware of how we come across as leaders or unintentionally operating against our own professed values can be ineffective or even damaging. That’s why most leadership development courses spend considerable time up-front ensuring leaders are aware of their style, and the style they exhibit when placed under stress. As leaders, we understand the principle of working on ourselves first. Yet, in a moment of clarity, most of us would grudgingly admit that we sometimes try to remove specks (small leadership flaws) from our fellow leaders’ eyes when we may have proverbial logs (large leadership flaws) in our own eyes. I’m guilty as charged.

So, what have we established? Self-awareness is critical to leadership success and yet, as leaders, we have blind spots—areas where we may lack self-awareness. Thankfully, self-awareness is a skill which we can develop over time. One word of warning: Practicing and increasing self-awareness is not for the faint-hearted. It means hearing things about ourselves that we’d rather not hear. It means having our style, pet projects, and philosophies critiqued. It means being vulnerable and having other people realize that we’re not infallible—all while needing to exhibit the level of self-confidence that it takes to be a strong leader. But, being self-aware is worth it—both at home and at work.

How can we become more self-aware? I’ve found the following ideas helpful in my journey and offer them to you.

Nine Ways to Build Self-Awareness:

1. Admit you’re not as self-aware as you think you are. Even if you are a warm, inviting person, over time—with promotions or growing expertise in your field, some information filters have likely set in—either from you or from others. You can and should assume you are no longer being made aware of all you need to know about how your leadership style and actions are perceived by the masses.  
2. Invite sharing from all levels of your organization and don’t expect unsolicited feedback until you’ve asked for feedback and have successfully received it with grace for a while. Remember that it takes courage for people to share candid feedback with a leader—especially if that leader is at a high level in the organization.
3. Take a personality inventory such as the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) and review the interpretive report. Or, dust off and review one you took previously. It can be enlightening. 
4. Invite a coach to work with you and observe the corporate climate around you and how your leadership style is received. Better yet, get a network of people who will do this for you—perhaps even confidentially on occasional surveys. Specifically ask: ‘Regarding ______ (insert the areas where you profess a certain leadership style or attribute), are there times where what I say I believe doesn’t match my actions?’
5. Put your leadership philosophies, pet projects and plans to the test regularly. If you consistently receive ‘everything is perfect’ answers or metrics, ask more specific follow-up questions until you are satisfied. Rarely is perfection the case 100% of the time. Receive the gift of feedback with class.
6. Take actions to stay humble. Have a teenager randomly comment on your fashion choices, colloquiums and computer skills. Go to a mixer where no one knows you. Be thankful for the little things. Volunteer often and ensure you’re placing yourself into circumstances where you’re around people and serving people different than yourself. 
7. Read Dilbert daily. Enough said.
8. Realize that some people who report to you will truly tell you only what you want to hear. If you subscribe to a particular leadership philosophy, find a measureable way to ensure it is sincerely being demonstrated throughout your company or department. Hire people who fit that culture.
9. Pick worthy leadership mentors and articles and read often and widely about good leadership.

With a little bit of practice and focus, we can increase our self-awareness and become stronger leaders!

Do you have any self-awareness tips to share?